THE ADVOCATE

GWEN

She was glad Judy hadn’t asked her to leave her office rather she had invited her into her office and asked her to wait for her. Sitting in the lobby of Judy’s office, Gwen could see her reflection clearly and it wasn’t pleasing to the eye. The mirror opposite her on the wall didn't lie. She saw the ravaged look in her eyes and her worn out overcoat just hung on her like a sack. She could see the questioning look on people’s faces as they passed her by and for a moment she wondered what her life would have been if she wasn’t smoking but then again smoking was her comfort. She blamed HIM for giving her this kind of life. When she needed love and badly wanted to be rescued, He just sat high up there and allowed it all to happen to her. The memory of the assault was still fresh.

She remembered the first time it happened to her. She was just about to take a shower that evening when he came into her room and told her how beautiful she was.  He told her that no one else would appreciate her beauty the way he did. He told her to take off her towel that he wanted to show her what he meant. He was standing in front of her, caressing her collar bone all the while as he spoke. She was skeptical so she hesitated. She saw the hungry look in his eyes.  It didn’t feel right. That night she was violated. Her father had broken her seal of innocence. He tortured her whenever she ddidn'tlet him have his way and told her that no one would believe her if she said anything. He took her to school and was there waiting for her when she closed. She had no hiding place. He wanted her to caress him , touch him there, kiss him all over and put her tongue in unimaginative places. He gave her first cigarette when she was sixteen. She had fought him so many times and he won every time. He told her vagina was rightfully his and that no one else was to have it. He told her never to reveal their secret to anyone else he would kill her.

Her mother was never always around. She was always somewhere in the world being the bread winner of the family leaving her at home with her father. Whenever her mother was around from one of her trips, there was always a quarrel or the other with her father. Sometimes her mother ended up in the hospital. Everything was so wrong. She had nobody to talk to. She felt like the odd one out everywhere she went so she kept to herself most of the time. She just wanted to be rescued. 

One day, he called her and asked her to sit on his lap. He was watching porn. He put his hand inside her shirt and began to stroke her roughly when he was hard enough he threw her on the hard floor and began to ram himself inside of her. Roughly and painfully.  Her mind went numb. Over the years,  she had  learnt how to lay still and just allow him have his way. She willed herself to go somewhere far away in her mind every time. The characters in the porn video began to do a new style and her father decided that he wanted to join the fun. He removed himself from her vagina and entered into her anus so fiercely that she thought her lungs would fail her before she screamed. He slapped the back of her head and covered her mouth with one hand. He was enjoying himself so much that he didn't hear the front door open. He didn't see her walk in. In a split second, their eyes met. One filled with utter shock and the other filled with fear and pain. The last thing she remembered seeing was her mother on the ground as the darkness in her mind consumed her.

When she opened her eyes, she saw him. She wanted to run away but she was tied to her bed with her legs wide open. He was standing in front of her with a towel. He spoke to her gently. He told her that he just wanted to clean her up. When he had finished, he gave her some pain killers and some sleeping pills. She woke up the next morning feeling numb all over and right there, she wished that she had died in her sleep. That morning, they went to see mother.  They drove in icy silence to the hospital. Her mother had been admitted in the intensive care unit wing in the hospital. As she stood by her mother’s bed, she reached out to touch her and almost immediately her mother opened her eyes. At first she couldn't recognize her and then when she did, her eyes were filled with horror and all of a sudden she was struggling to breathe. Somewhere in the background her father was calling for a nurse. She was still holding her mother’s hand when she died. When she saw the life drain out of her eyes, she placed the hand on her mother’s chest and walked out of all the commotion in a trance. She never went back home again until the day of her mother’s burial.

The memory of her mother’s  burial brought back the cold numbness in her heart she experienced that day as the  undertakers were putting her mother’s coffin in the ground. After the burial, she walked out of the graveyard and into the open arms of the streets of London where her only comfort and escape were found in her packs of cigarettes. And since then she never gave home a backward glance. She had suffered too much for nine years.

She snapped out of her reverie when she felt the tears on her face and like an automated robot she stood up and walked out of the lobby. She started to walk briskly, then she started running like her life depended on it. She ran hoping that the distance would put the memories behind her. She just wanted to forget. She ran until she got was out of breath and then she settled to walking aimlessly till she was hungry for cigarettes. She bought some and sated herself sitting on a street bench. She didn't know why she thought Judy would be able to help her. The streets were always there for her, never judging or asking questions. It was a place for survivors and she would survive no matter what. 

‘how dare you wish for a good life? What got into you? This is the best you will ever be and you have to be grateful for it. Did you see yourself in the mirror? Did you see how ugly you looked? You can never be more.’

‘ I know! You remind me everyday! I am hopeless, used and am lucky to even have some comforts.

 Is it bad that I hoped and wondered how my life would have been if……he didn’t touch me?

By now she was screaming in tears.

‘why me? Why me? I just want to die! But I don’t have the courage to kill myself. I just want to be in peace. He gave me this life! He was there when he defiled me and He did absolutely nothing! I hate that man! I hate them both! I hate them!’

She was on her knees now weeping. ‘ I just want to die!’

‘even death would be too good for you! ‘

She was weeping  silently now, curled up in a ball on the street bench. Suddenly, she coughed and then she was gasping for breath. She couldn't breath.

‘help me….’ She was desperate for air now. She was looking around frantically for help.The street was not a busy street. The few people around were in their shops.

‘help….’ She breathed…. |almost immediately, she fell on the floor clutching her chest. it seemed as if her life force was draining fast.

She felt the touch and heard her yell at someone to stop a cab. Then. all she could think of was how badly she needed to breathe. She desperately wanted to live. She was in a cab now with the owner of the voice.

‘you will be fine Gwen, just breathe… we are almost there’

All she could do was raise her hand to answer.

‘Gwen, take deep breaths, you will be just fine…Lord please breathe into Gwen. Amen.’

She was weak and tired…very tired…she saw herself falling into a black hole. Somewhere in her mind Judy was holding her hand and calling her name.

HER CINDERELLA STORY

She remembered it just like yesterday, when roses seemed redder and violets seemed more violet. With her head in the clouds, she gave her heart away to just a single smile and the sound of his voice. It was love at first sight!  His deep baritone voice was so captivating, she didn't realize then that she had been staring at him. He introduced himself as Richard. Richard Da silver, The billionaire whose account she would be handling. She had heard of him but she was thrown off balance when she met him in person. He was very young, too young to be in his kind of business. He had a telecommunications empire. She was on an official assignment to handle the final documentation of the transactions he had with her bank. She had made sure she dressed to the ninnies. She was glad she did because after they said their introductions that fateful day and with just a handshake,  thus began their whirlwind romance.

That was then but now; she was basking in the sun in Miami. Lying on a beach chair with her legs stretched out before her. Sunshades on and a fab body in a skimpy bikini, what more could she ask for? She had quit her job in the second month of their relationship and she had no regrets! Her bank account was a testimony to that. Richard spared no expenses to make her feel and look like a queen. She honed her thoughts back to the present. It was time to prepare for her dinner date with Richard. He was supposed to pick her up from the hotel where they were staying.

After two hours of primping and prepping she was ready. She looked absolutely divine in her Vera Wang burgundy dress and she knew it.  She was hoping that he would propose this night even though they have been dating for six months. Her phone was ringing.

‘hi boo’

‘Mon Cherie’

‘Are you ready?’

‘Yes love’

‘I am downstairs in the lobby’

‘Kay boo. See you in a bit’

She sighted Richard immediately she walked into the lobby. Tall, dark and handsome .when he saw her his eyes lighted up. He approached he and kissed her unexpectedly then handed the bouquet of roses he had been hiding behind his back. Tonight is definitely the night she thought as she took his outstretched arm.

‘You look divine Cherie’

‘Thank you boo. The roses are beautiful So where are we going?’

 ‘But not as beautiful as you. where we are going is  a surprise to mark our last night together in Miami’

They went to a five star restaurant and their table for two was fabulous. Everything smelled romance and surprises. He did propose that night. He went down on one knee in the middle of their dinner and asked to marry him. And she all but screamed yes with tears in her eyes.  The rock on her engagement ring was an attention grabber. They took the next flight home the next day.

They arrived mid-morning in Abuja. A chauffeur was already waiting to take them home. He dropped her off first at her apartment before making his way home. She lived with her best friend somewhere in Maitama . Bunmi was excited to see her of course. She showed Bunmi her ring.

‘wow! that is a rock! omo this guy means business o!'

'yesso! this ring na die!'

'so re-gist me babes. Hearing the gist face to face is better than phone calls. How did he propose to you? What did you wear?  In fact lets open your box let me see the Vera Wang Dress'.

‘Bunmi slow down joor! I need to rest before we start opening any box. I know you are using style to make sure you get your own share first before any other person comes’

‘caught in the act! I surrender!’ She playfully raises her hands up to emphasize the gesture

‘good’

‘But still tell me how he did it. Who would have thought that Richard Da Silver would be my best-friend in-law? They both laughed.

They sorted through the things in her box amidst ‘ooos’, ‘aaahs’, ‘O mys’ and ‘it’s beautiful’.  Bunmi got her share of the goodies and ‘the proposal gist’ as they sipped wine admist giggles, tears and talking about their past relationships.

The next two months were a flurry of fun and activities. He took her to meet his parents. They didn't say much because they didn't stay long. They were nice enough. When she took him home, Everybody was impressed. They said they were a match made in heaven maybe because his generosity had left them speechless. She really didn't care. She was marrying the man of her dreams and that was all that mattered.  Her father was another kettle of fish entirely. What did he know anyways?  That night after they returned from their parents’ house that night, she couldn't help but recall what her father had asked her. He wanted to know if she was sure she knew what she was doing? Had she prayed about it? How much did she know about his background? Etc. She pushed all these thoughts out her mind after all love mattered the most in marriage.

One week to her wedding, she still felt that she had a lot of things that needed to be done. She was sorting out the final details with her make-up artist over the phone when her door- bell rang.

‘who is it?’

‘Its me Ginika’

Only one person still used that name. she hung up immediately and opened the door. It was her Father.

‘Dad… what a pleasant surprise! Welcome.’ she ushered him in as she collected the nylon bag that he was holding. ‘

‘I stopped over at shop-rite to buy your favorite chocolate bar. I know with all this your weight watching you still like them.’ 

‘Daddy! Don’t you want me to fit into my wedding dress?’ she said un-wrapping a bar as they settled opposite each other on the sofa in her living room.

‘Ahem…Ginika my visit here today is not just a casual visit but I need to tell you a few things.’

‘Daddy, what’s  the matter?’

‘ I know that ever since you met this Top shot guy of yours it has been hard to get through to you.  My daughter, I am a bit uncomfortable with a few things about this marriage. You quit your job just because he asked you to. What happens to your future as a woman? And there is the issue of the wife whose appearance or disappearance still remains cloudy. My daughter, I am not comfortable with it at all. ‘

‘Dad. Richard has assured me that his divorce would finally come through on the day of our wedding so the issue of a wife somewhere is already a sorted matter.’

‘ my daughter, the issue is not sorted. What caused their break up? Why couldn’t he work it out with her? My dear marriage is a big deal and you really need to think this through?  Marriages don’t just break up for flimsy reasons. If he said his wife cheated on him, did they try to work it out? Did he just throw her out just like that? You need to ask because what he did in the previous marriage may define what this present one would be like. I know you would make excuses for him which shouldn’t be so. Already, the foundation of this whole matter is not solid. I feel you should take a step back and ask Richard some questions.’

‘Daddy, I can take care of myself! Richard has explained all that needs to be explained and I believe him. I trust the man that I am getting married to.’ she was already getting heated up.

‘I will not walk you down the isle dear,  I know my opinion at this point means noting to you. Think about it again. I think its time I take my leave. ‘ He was out of her apartment

After he father left, she decided to call Richard for her peace of mind. She loved her father dearly  and she didn’t want anything to come in between them.

‘Hello’

‘hi Cherie’

‘Boo, how are you?’

'am gud Cherie. How was your day?'

'Sweetheart, there’s something we need to talk about’

‘Okay, go ahead’

‘After you found out that Sophie was cheating on you, did you try to work things out with her before you resorted to divorcing her?’

‘Baby, where is this question coming from? I thought I explained what happened to you.’

‘Yes I know, I just need to know whether you tried to sort it out with her.’

‘Cherie, what should be important is that I am getting married to you. I am ever grateful that the fates brought you my way. You know what caught my attention   most? It was your smile. I don’t want to see anything take away that smile from you.  Every time I remember what she did to me after all I did for her, it grieves me. Baby, I have forgiven her and I have moved on that’s what’s important. Don’t allow this to come between us. It’s not an issue’

‘ I just needed that to get off my mind. I love you so much.’

‘ Don’t worry Cherie, it would be fine. I can understand what you are going through now. Hang on in there we will get to the D-day. I just know our life together would be fabulous’

‘Ok boo. ‘ She chimed.

‘Cherie, I have to go now, talk later?’

‘yeah…love you’

‘love you too’

Naomi was relieved. Richard always had a way of relaxing her. She assured herself for the umpteenth time that she was on the right track with him. She would handle Daddy. She knew he was just worried about her.

Finally, the day arrived when her name would be Mrs. Naomi Ginika Da Silver. Everything was perfect! Her bridesmaid in their halter-neck gold dresses looked beautiful and she in her exquisite Vera-Wang dress looked breathe taking!  Everything turned out beautifully except that Richard was no where to be found and the wedding was three hours behind schedule. She was panicking. She was in the officiating minister’s office with Bunmi. She didn't want to bear the piteous looks of people so she locked the door.

‘This is unlike Richard. He is never late and he always calls whenever he had any other plans. God please, I don’t want to be a bride that was jilted on her wedding day. Or could it be that he had an accident. Has anyone been able to reach any of the grooms men? She was pacing the office already in tears.

‘Naomi stop crying, am sure Richard has an explanation for his lateness’ Bunmi tried to console her

‘Bunmi, what could have happened? Did I do something? His phone is ringing but he is not picking!’  her tears where flowing unabashedly now. She heard someone call his name. Then she heard her name and a subtle knock on the door.

‘Naomi, please open the door, its Richrard.’

 She rushed to open the door welcoming him with a hot slap. he didnt even flinch she noted annoyingly.

‘where have you been? Why did you do this to me?’ she was hysterical now

‘Bunmi, please could you give us a minute?’

“I am not leaving you son of a bitch! How dare you just walk in here by this time? How dare you do this to her? What did she do? I am not leaving here, you hear me? ‘ She was standing beside her friend now.

“Naomi, we need to talk alone I beg you. I know everything looks bad but it will all go away in a minute. Please just let me explain.’

‘Explain what Richard? How you have disgraced me on the most important day of my life? Tell me Richie, how you want to get past this now. What could possibly have gone wrong?’ she was shouting on top of her voice.

‘I need us to talk alone, Please…’

‘Anything you have to say, say it now and it better be good’

‘Bunmi, its fine. Please…’

‘Are you sure babes? You don’t look too good…’

‘Am ok. Will call you when I need you.’

‘Ok.’ Bunmi squeeze her friends hand before she leaves.

‘ Say what you have to say then go!’

‘please can we sit down?’

‘Are you daft? Say what you have to say! You have five minutes!’

‘hmmm….Remember that afternoon you called me to ask about my wife? ‘

‘haha! I am the fool of the century! Don’t tell me you brought your sorry self here to tell me that you decided to get back together with her Richard?’ she screamed!

‘Actually, Naomi, you opened my eyes with your question that afternoon. I realized that I hadn't tried to work things out with her before judging our marriage as over and somehow in the past few days I realize that I still love her very much… I am so sorry it came to this…' he was on his knees now.

‘Richard, get out of this place now before I murder you with my bare hands!’ she spoke with a calmness she never thought she could muster at this point. He just confirmed her worst fear.

‘Naomi please…’

She walked over to the door and threw it open.

‘Naomi….’ He walked over to her

‘Save it!’

She watched him go. When she was sure he was nowhere in her range of vision, she fainted!

‘Naomi, Naomi! Can you hear me?’ somebody bring water and be fast!’

Some here in her sub-conscious, she heard her mother fire out instructions. She felt tired  even before she opened her eyes.

‘Mum, I am fine. No need for the water. Just take me home.’

Two months after, she was still nursing a broken heart. News of his reunion with his wife was all over the papers. Sitting on the balcony in her apartment, her mind went back to that day. She suddenly remembered that he wasn't even wearing his wedding tuxedo when he came to break the news to her that fateful wedding day.  All through her the time he spent with her, he never acknowledged his wife as his ex-wife. He still addressed her as his wife and she was so in love she never noticed. She weeped silently curling herself up more in her chair.

 She remembered it just like yesterday. The day when roses seemed redder and Violets seemed more Violet. The day she put her head in the clouds and allowed herself to be swept away by looks charm and a smile. She remembered it very well and she would never forget but she would not allow herself to wallow in misery any longer. She made up her mind then that hence forth the custodian of her Alabaster box would be HIM who she never acknowledged in the first place.

Fin

  

THE ADVOCATE Part 2

Hi guys, just so you don't get confused in the reading journey for 'The Advocate', I might need to explain a few things. Judy is part of the characters in the series. As the series continues, you will see each character and their roles synchronize to eventually produce an interesting reading experience.  Hope you like it! ENJOY!


JUDY

She wakes up with a start. Her alarm clock was ringing and it was annoying. She needed more sleep! It was 5.00 AM in the morning. She groaned and turned on her side continued to sleep not even bothering to put off the alarm clock. After two minutes, she gets out of bed with a lazy groan then she kneels down to pray but not after she had put off her annoying alarm clock.  Her devotional devoured and her routine work out executed, she was ready for work in one hour and thirty minutes.  The bus stop was just a few minutes away from home but if she didn't get there on time, she was sure of a very long line of queue. It was foggy and as usual very cold.

 She walked briskly to the bus-stop hugging herself to keep warm despite her thick tweed jacket. Later on the temperature would drop but for now it was freezing. At the bus stop, people stood in clusters waiting for the 7.00 AM bus to arrive. Today, thankfully the queue wasn't very long. She sighted a woman at the beginning of the line handing out a paper to passengers. When it got to her turn, the woman smiled at her and told her that Jesus loved her and wished her a wonderful day ahead as she handed her the tract. She accepted it and told her thank you.

‘I hardly ever read these’ the man in front of her half turned to inform her in a conspirational whisper.

‘They always end stuffed up in my coat pockets. I feel so guilty when I collect them because I know they would end up as trash later. By the way, I’m Charles’. He stretched out his hand for a hand shake.

‘I’m Judy. Pleased to meet you’ she accepts his handshake. 'well , one day, you’ll get to read them and then the message that you are meant to receive from them would be revealed to you. In the meantime, don’t throw them away, give them to someone else. It might just contain what that person needs at that time’ she replied with a smile.

‘You know, I have never thought of it that way. You sound like one of the ministers at my church.’ He replied with a laugh.

‘Oh well! We have to be minstrels at some point in our lives. The bus should be here by now’ she said glancing quickly at her watch.

‘Yes, it should be. It’s already five minutes till seven. ‘

Just then they see the bus coming from down the streets with it headlights in full blast separating the fog.

‘It’s about time!’ she exclaimed and he nodded in agreement.

All aboard, they were soon on their way to Bath Central. Judy loved to sit by the window every morning on her forty five minutes bus ride to work. She loved to see the world from behind the glass of a metro bus. But today it was foggy, so she settled to listen to some music on her phone and maybe doze off since her stop would be the last one the bus would make.

She couldn't sleep and the music was far from relaxing. Her mind was on different things.

‘Would you mind if I sit beside you? ‘

‘Oh! I didn't see you coming…of course….’ She replied a bit startled.

‘Sorry if I frightened you’ he said noting the look on her face.

‘it’s alright. I am perfectly alright now’ she replied wondering what he wanted. She needed to find a way to sleep for just thirty minutes but obviously, this guy just wanted to talk and she wasn't much interested.

‘Trying to sleep right?’ He asked and she nodded.

‘Let me tell you what I do, whenever I am trying to get that 30 minutes sleep on my way to work, all I just do is imagine one of the favorite place I love to be and then I use it to lull myself to sleep’. He explained

‘Really? ’ She asked. Mentally, she took note of his appearance. He was good looking, well -built and he smelled like something familiar. Something she would like to snuggle up to. She liked him already.

‘Yes, it works, trust me.  I am a nature lover so I imagine myself lying down in a vast green meadow with plenty of sunshine and cool breeze and then I chant in my head words like relax, serenity, peace till I eventually fall asleep.’ he concluded with a mysterious grin on his face.

‘Are you a psycho-therapist? ‘Cos that’s the kind of advice they would give? She asked jokingly more alert now than sleepy. He sounded like an interesting and fun fellow.

‘No. I am not. I just read that somewhere. I am a civil engineer. What do you do?’ he asked , happy that he had her full attention now. He had been meaning to talk to her for a while now but he just didn't know how to go about it. She didn't know it but the first time he saw her. He had just parked his car in front of the coffee shop across from the soup kitchen where she served. She had come out of the shop to see someone off and that was when she caught his attention. She was a sight to behold. She had kind eyes and a very beautiful smile. Since then, He couldn't get her out of his mind. His delight knew no bounds when he saw her at the bus stop one morning waiting to board the same bus he wanted to get on and now, here they were.

‘Well… I am a Human Resource personnel in my company.’ She answered shortly. She wasn't going to give further details than that

‘Interesting... Do you like your job?’

‘Yes... do you like your job?’

‘I enjoy my job and…’ just then the bus came to a stop and they both looked up to the lead screen in front of them displaying the name of the bus stop.

‘This is my stop Judy. It was a pleasure talking to you. Remember to practice what I taught you…do have a pleasant day ahead’ he reminded her on his way out of the bus.

‘Thank you Charles, I will. Have a nice too. Bye.’ She answered smiling.

She watched him disappear in the crowd of people as the bus moved. ‘Interesting fellow’ she wondered.   

Now that the stranger had managed to keep her awake, she had many things on her mind. So she rummaged through her bag for her daily planner. Done setting up her day, she decides to try what the stranger had taught her. She closed her eyes visualizing the sea, calm, beautiful and refreshing. She was sitting on the shores of the beach and she started to chant the word serenity, taking in relaxing breaths till she fell asleep. She woke up to the ringing sound of the conductor’s bell. Obviously, the bus had reached her stop. Groggily, she took the stairs down the bus one at a time. Work was just two blocks away and it was really cold so she walked fast with the throng of people on the street not because she was late but because she needed to wake herself up.

 As she approached the building where she worked, something caught her attention, a familiar figure she knew too well, talking animatedly to the security guard at the entrance. She stopped in her tracks. ‘How did she know where I worked?’ Taking a deep breath, she proceeded to find out what Gwen was doing outside her office building.

                                                                                                                                                                                 

THE ADVOCATE

GWEN.

She sat there in a hullabaloo of a place. Faces, places, people. Strangers passing by not knowing what she went through. She had tried very hard to quit but just couldn't. It seemed like her whole life depended on five packs of cigarette a day. She was sorry for all the pain that she had caused her people but this was her escape, her way of dealing with life.

She could still hear them fight in her head and still saw her mum with a bloody nose in her hospital bed. She saw the coffin in the ground and the dull faces everywhere. She never shed a single tear on that day but just concluded that God is cruel and didn't deserve her love at all. She didn't say good bye to her mother rather she stored up all her pain over the years and now her only friends were her packs of cigarette. Her heart was hardened. 'Why me?' she asked every single day as she walked the streets of London. One day she would definitely ask that man why he gave her this destiny.

She was cold, hungry and badly needed a smoke. It was time to visit  the soup kitchen across the street. There she got bread and hot soup  every morning. So joining the queue of people in front of the shop she waited her turn. Today, the queue was surprisingly short so before long it was her turn. On her way to an empty table she meets Judy. Judy volunteered there every now and then. Whenever Judy saw Gwen, she was always happy to see her and was always telling her about the God's Love which Gwen concluded she didn't need. 


'Good morning." she beamed.

 ‘How are you Gwen? How’s your asthma? Its been a while since the last time I saw you'.

'My asthma has been doing fine... haven't had any crises since the last time and.I have been surviving, thank you.'

'That's good to hear.You need to stop smoking you know'
'It’s a miracle you are still alive today.’

'I will Judy. Maybe , when the Lord of light shows himself to me.’ She chuckles

‘Gwen, always remember one thing. He loves you very much that’s for sure. Remember, whenever you decide to quit the stick, I am here for you and so is He’

‘If you say so, Judy. Anyways that's what all ‘em flyers you have been handing about been saying. '
'I am no more interested in that than what my asthma would do to me in the long run.'
 'I’ll just stick to my pack of cigarette. They never disappoint me.' She stated with a tone of surety.

‘Gwen, He never disappoints. Your pack of cigarette will fade away but his love for you won't.  Gwen think on one thing, He loves you. You just need to believe in his love.’

‘Ain't no love for free Judy. I ‘preciate what you and your fellas be doing with the soup for the soul kitchen thing but am on my own in this world and that’s that. Have a good morning Judy and thank you for asking ‘bout my asthma'. She started towards an empty table.

'Enjoy your soup Gwen. I am always here if you need anything.' Judy reminded her.

Finally, some peace! She didn't like talks of God and his love. Hell! she didn't want to hear of him! Hurriedly, Gwen devoured her hot bread and soup and then she set out to seek for her main course. Her pack of cigarettes. She decided to visit the local coffee shop to see if there would be any posh customers she could milk money off . She didn't see any likely candidate, so she decided to try the nearest bus-stop. There was always a cloister of people there one way or the other. Putting her plan into action, she sighted a well dressed man holding a shiny suitcase. She stared to walk fast towards him till they bump into each other. 

'Oh my...i am so sorry ma'am. please let me help you up'. He set his briefcase down and helped her up.
'no sir, i am so sorry..' she immediately burst into tears.
' whatever is the matter ma'am? I am sorry if I hurt you when you fell'.
'No sir. you did nothing.' 
On her feet now, 'I should have been looking at where I was going before I bumped into you. I am just very worried about my children. I can't find my wallet and I really need to get home to them. One of them has pneumonia.'
' I don't know what to do?' she sobbed piteously.
'I am so sorry about that ma'am. let me see how i can help you'.

The man reaches into his pocket  and hands her some  money. 
' please have this, its not much but I hope it would take you home'.
' I am running late for work, take care of yourself and do have a nice day'.
' Thank you sir. you are a life saver.' She thanked him with a watery smile as they both walk away in opposite directions of the street.

Relieved that her first attempt today was successful,she hurries off to the nearest grocery store around. Two minutes later Gwen  emerges clutching two packs of cigarette. looking like she had just won a trophy, she rushes off to the park to enjoy her smoke. Settling down on a park bench and sucking on her cigarette stick she inhales deeply. thinking what more life could offer her. Gwen found all her comforts and the escape she needed in her cigarettes. She wasn't prepared to give them up for anything in the world till death takes her. With a gulp of satisfaction, she dozes off to sleep. At noon, she wakes up hungry for another smoke but she realized that she didn't have any money. Her earlier packs of cigarette exhausted, she decided to sit this craving out but a war of wills took place within her.
‘let me sit down and wait this over maybe the feeling would die down a bit'.
Then it spoke...‘you know you are just wasting your time. You cannot live your life without a smoke so get up and get to work’.
She started to cry, holding her head feverishly. Glancing left and right, almost insane and hugging herself she begged within her, ‘let me just try for once please. I don’t want to smoke!’

 'This is the only way that you can forget everything. Look at you, you are already shivering like a mad woman when you should go out and ask for money to get it.’ It reminded her.

Gwen looked down at her palm and indeed was shivering like a mad woman. Thus, with no further resistance, she walked out of the park to look for her next victim of deceit. She sighted him immediately. Dressed in an expensive coat and with a prime hair cut, she walks up to a him . He was sitting outside the coffee shop from across the street where the park was. Crossing the road, she walked up straight to him and began to beg,
 'sir, would you be so kind enough to give me some money for my train fare?' 

'One of my children at home is sick. I came from Hemington to Bath  just to get some medicine but now but I don’t have any money for my train fare.’

‘I don't have money to give lairs like you, so leave here at once!’ He took in her bloodshot eyes, her once pretty face and her dirty, hungry stricken look. He summed up that she  was a lair and probably an addict of some sort.

‘sir please it is a matter of life and death,.. i beg you please.'

'She really does look piteous' he thought .Then with a sigh he pulls out his wallet to give her some spare change he had when the waitress comes out of the shop shouting ,
‘Don't give the bloody loco any money! What lies has she told you?' 

'Griff! Griffin! That mad woman is here!'

The waitress started walking angrily towards angrily towards Gwen, 'You this crazy woman, I have warned you to stay away from my shop! Stop harassing my customers’.

Out of the corner for her eyes she sights Griffen walking furiously out of the shop with a belt in his hand. Panicking, she did the next best thing she could think of, she snatched the mans wallet and took off. She was skinny,light , fast on her feet and was used to the streets of Bath with all its alleys. Behind her ensued a hot pursuit but she lost them in Burlington street. Catching her breath in an empty alley, she settles down to  count her prize. One hundred pounds! She was so happy. This would buy her cigarettes for days to come. She felt on top of the world! Thankfully she was standing opposite a super-market. Today, she was going to smoke her favorite Benson and Hedges cigarettes. She walked into the supermarket went straight to the shelf where she knew they would be, picked up seven packs of it and  then joined the queue at the counter, When it was her turn the cashier looked at her with one eye brow raised and so she quickly lied:

‘its for my mum and her country club friends’. 

That’s what they all say’ the cashier replied tartly.

She paid her bill and left with people looking at her like she was sick. She was used to it anyways.

Gwen smoked five sticks in 30 minutes sitting on the nearest street bench she could find.  She couldn't go back to Hedgemead park,  The police would definitely be  looking for her there. There and then she decided to take the next train to Bristol. Life was pretty much the same living on the streets. Disposing her last stub, she  makes her way to the train station.