ONE NIGERIA! THE FIVE FIVE BROUHAHA.

Recently, I boarded a bus with my elder sister from Ogudu to Obalende and it was  a really interesting journey. My sister sat in front beside the driver while I sat inside the bus. The bus we boarded was a big yellow danfo that has five rows of seats inside. The bus like every other danfo bus is meant to seat four people in a row but you know all these conductors and drivers with their gimmicks! They always want to seat five people on a row to make extra money. That's how the conductor began to insist that people sit five five in a row o and then wahala statred!

Conductor: Obalende! Obalede! Obalende! Hold your N100 naira change o, any bustop!

Yours truely rushed into the bus. It was already past 7pm and I needed to get home on time.

 I was about to sit on the extra seat attached to the main seats in the bus, when a passenger behind told me that there was a seat behind.

Passenger 1: madam, there's one seat left here. 

Me: Thank you sir but I'll sit here.(i.e seat attached the one in front of him). Then turning to my soon to be seat mates, 'Please can you adjust for me. Its usually five five they carry. let me just manage till the back is filled then I will pull out this seat'.

They grudgingly shifted and I sat in the little space they created for me, adjusting myself too so that another passenger would be able to squeeze past me to the seat behind.

Conductor: Madam, you dey block road now. Na five five we dey carry. siddon for back. We go stop you for your bus stop!

Me: Conductor, I know. I no fit siddon for back. My leg go dey pain me. That place too tight.

Meanwhile, one passenger had managed to squeeze past me to take the back seat

Passenger1: you can pull out the seat, we are complete. 

I pulled out the seat and sat. Much to my relief, the other passenger in front also pulled out his seat and sat. Then I noticed that there were four people in the row in front of me, my row and the last row. I silently hoped that the conductor would not make a fuss out of the seating arrangement.

Eventually, the bus began to move and the conductor noticing the seating arrangement began to shout. 

Conductor: see na five five o!

Passenger 1:five ke? After collecting N100 naira from us. 

Passenger 2(seated beside Passenger1): all these conductors and drivers are just thieves! mscheew! five ko! five ni!

I wondered why Passenger 2 took the five five seating personal. After all, on their row sat four people. Not wanting to be part of the rukus, I brought out my phone and began to play candy crush soda. In no time, bus got to Iyana Oworo which was the next major bus stop to offload and pick up more passengers.

Conductor: Iyana Oworo?

Some passengers: Owa o!

The driver then made a stop and the two people on my row along with some other people in the bus alighted so I moved over. Then two women and a little boy entered. They sat down beside me. One of the women that sat beside me lapped the boy while the other woman sat on the fourth seat.

Conductor1: Obalende Obalende Obalende! Hold your N100 naira change any bustop!

Woman1: Conductor, five five for where? After you won collect N100 naira?

Passenger one: No mind am! dem just dey behave any how! 

Woman1: Make I see the five five wey go happen. Ole! you won squeeze us for inside here. Make I see how e go happen.

The bus began to move away from the bus stop, then the conductor starts collecting money. 

Conductor: Berger?

Some passengers: Owa!

Conductor: E bole kia kia! Emi ofe waste time ni bus stop eleyi. Oya shap! shap! Afterhere na Obalende straight!

Some passengers  in the bus sighed at his rude remark. Quite a number of passengers alighted at Berger bus stop.Woman1 seized the opportunity and asked her son to take the vacant back seat while Woman 2 relocated to a vacant seat in the row in-front.  

Conductor: Obalende! Obalende! Obalende! Hold your N100 naira change any bus stop!

Some new passengers: N100/ no be N50 naira from Berger?

Conductor: Abeg come down o! Na N100 naira any bus stop I call for you.

Woman 1: Because you know say night don reach na im make you won start to dey cheat people abi? And you still won carry five five.

As she was spoke, a hefty looking man pulls out the attached seat on my row and sits down. 

Conductor; oga1 abeg na five five. abeg seat dey back.

The new passenger just ignores the conductor and resumes eating his  sausage roll.

Conductor: Oga abeg! Come down! You no hear wen I talk say na five five? Abeg come down.

Conductor begins to hit the side of the bus violently attracting the attention other people at the bus stop. By this time, the driver has shut off his engine.

 Driver: Oga abeg come down. We no find your trouble! you hear wen he talk say na five five. Abeg go enta anoda bus.

Some passengers: Driver why you switch off your engine? you no see say night don reach?

woman 1: Driver you sef be theif! you and this your conductor.

Passennger 1: Driver move this bus now. Conductor what do you mean? After collecting N100 from us, you still want us to seat five five! Bloody shetas!(cheaters)

The new passenger just sat there eating his gala despite the ruckus.

Conductor: Oga i dey tell you come down now yio! You jus siddon dere dey chop gala like goat.

The new passenger: na me you dey insult abi? I go slap you now! you father! (with the hand gesture) No worry make we reach obalende I go show you!

Passenger1: Driver! I say move this bus! I am an officer!(He brings out his Id card) .Is it because I did not claim officer when I entered the bus. My friend move this bus!

 By this time, I momentarily suspended to watch the drama.

Woman1: Oga! Tell them! These pipo just dey always feel say dem fit they behave anyhow.

Conductor: Madam, you sef dey talk? shey na lap you lap your pikin before? Why you no lap am again? You go pay for that seat wey he siddon?

Driver: Oga no be by staff anytin! no be by that! He tell you before una enta! no be by force to enta!

The new passenger: Driver, you better respect yourself and move this bus now!

Some other passengers: Driver! she na becos of one person you no go move this bus? 

The new passenger: My name is Admiral. Ask of me wen you reach Obalende! So better respect yoursef!

Passenger 1: 'tion sa. ( recognising the title, he stands up to salute). Reporting for duty sir! I did not see your face well sa.

The new passenger: No problem Officer. When we get to Obalende, we will arrest this guy. They dont know who they are dealing with.

Passenger 1: Yessa!

Woman1: Conductor! Oya give me my N500 make I come down abeg.

She made no move to do so as she spoke

Passenger2: Na so conductor go dey make mouth!Wen we reach Obalende now dem go dey beg!

By this time, yours truely had had it. Passenger1 and passenger2  were begining to sound like a bad record. They sat directly behind me and it was like they were shouting directly in my ear while Woman1 was busy raining insults on the conductor.  Meanwhile, the new passenger began to speak with someone on the phone. Just then the driver starts the bus and screeched out of Berger bus stop!

The new passenger: Hello. Who dey station? Mobilize na na na na na! Meet me for Obalende on top bridge wey dey come from mainland! We get one stubborn driver and one useless conductor for here.

The girl on my other side: Sister don't mind him. (she does the yimu sign towards him) daz's how they will be making noise! Mscheew. 

Passenger1: Oga abeg, make we use mouth for dem. You no say dem be small boys. Maybe dem borrow the motto make dem make shap shap money na why dem dey misbehave.

The new Passenger: Make we reach station first!

Passenger2: Officer! Leave am. He go no say he carry officers today! She na bcos we no wear uniform or call staff for am wen we enter the bus?

Me: Madam, you paid for two seats and now your son is sitting on a seat that someone else should be sitting on. Its not nice after all. You heard when the conductor called N100 and said it was five five. Even if we wont sit five five, at least carry your son! Its not right.

Woman1:Madam, shuu! wetin be your own? Anyway no be wetin we dey shout for be dat . I poposely telld my son make im siddon bcos  normally the conductor supposed to collect N50 from iyana Oworo to Obalende.

Me: really? Is it N50 from there? I always enter for N100 o and buses like this carry five five! Except they loaded from garage! but madam, you suppose don price the conductor before you pay or even siddon. I jus dey talk my own. No be fight abeg.

Passenger3(sitting directly in front of me); Na true madam. E no good. Carry your son! Afterall there was still seat when you entered the bus and you no tell the conductor say you go pay N50. You cannot just be taking advantage of the situation.

Passenger 4(sitting directly behind the driver): Madam, why are you causing commotion! Oga sirs, we all know that these types of buses carry five five and its not so bad if we adjust well bcos space dey!.

Some other passengers: Driver! Small small o! You carry pipo for back abeg!

After seeing the near brush our bus almost had with another car, I begin to chant 'Blood of Jesus! Blood of Jesus!' in my mind.

Passenger1 & 2: My friend sit down there! We should all be supporting ourselves.

Passenger5(sitting by the window infront of me): Yes o! As if its not for the good of us! And some people are busy supporting them! This same people that rip us off!

Woman1: Abi na! We are one Ni-je-ria  ('Nigeria'). Nkan ti some people she ninu bus eleyi koda now! At-liz (Atleast) let us speak with one voice. We should be hepin awasef (  'ourself' and 'helping')

Despite my initial fear, I couldn't help the euphoria of laughter that bubbled up inside me! In other words, laff won kill me die!( at this point I wish I could use smileys).

Passenger2: Driver! Wetin dey worry you now? You don dey craze abi? You no no say na third mainland bridge you dey so? God punish your father! ( with the hand gesture nearly slapping the back of my head in the process).

Driver(facing back now): Madam! Officer abi wetin you call Ysef! (yourself) God punish your generation! You dey craze! Why you no come drive this bus for me? Nonsense!

Me: Driver abeg face front o! I take God beg you! Take am easy! You no say na full speed you dey go so? Abeg.

Driver: Madam no vex! I don vex!

Conductor: Madam! You just dey shout since why you no go drive for am?

Woman1: Gbe enu e dake jare! Olori buruku osi! Omo jatititi! Omo ale! baxta! (bastard)

Me: madam take it easy! (talking loudly now). Madam shebi you were busy shouting one Nigeria just now. Will you like this bus to have an accident because you want to claim right! (turning to passenger2) Madam, its ok. Stop Insulting the driver let him concentrate and take us to our destination safely, please.

Passenger2: Cant you hear him abusing me too? 

Me: See ehn...I am not supporting anybody but you started it. 

Passenger5: Why are you supporting them sef? Whats you own? Cant we caution the driver if he is driving roughly? Mscheew.

M<e: Madam, if the driver cannot concentrate how will he drive well? When we reach Obalende, let the people that want to take justice take justice but meanwhile let us allow him to concentrate. You can see that the more you abuse him the roughly he drives.

By this time Woman1, Passenger2 and Passenger5 were quiet along with the rest of the people in the bus.

Passenger1: Madam, there is no need to panic! Our lives are not in his hands. Our lives are in Gods hands. We will reach our destination safely.

Me: Amen o! That is why as children of God, even though we need to stand up for what is right, we need to apply wisdom too. There is no point in driving the driver crazy and expecting him to drive well.

Some passengers: its true...

Driver: Sister taink you. God bless you.

Me: Driver! Abeg do small small biko (used the igbo word for 'please' having sensed his intonation)

Gently, the driver reduced his speed and the bus seemed quiet until one Nijeria woman spoke again.

Woman1: Mscheeeeeeew. hmmmm. Awon eleyi ko mo nkan kan!

Passenger1: Madam issokae nau!

Woman1: I call anybody name? Mscheew!

After her outburst, nobody else spoke. It seemed the earlier arguments had drained us all. We arrived Obalende with no more hassles or arguments. Plus, nobody arranged anybody to arrest anyone. Everyone heaved a sigh of relief happy to have arrived at  Obalende safely. 

GOD BLESS NIGERIA!!!!

THE FUSS ABOUT 'GAYISM' -MY THOUGHTS

Recently, I transcended into that mind space called 'nothingness' and  my journey into my mind space on the vehicle of 'transcendental thinking' brought me to the matter of 'Gayism'. Gayism is a term that I coined recently. So as far as this write up goes, it could mean 'Gay', 'Gay Marriage' or 'Gay Relations' depending on the context in which it is put in this write up.  I am a advocate that every human being has inalienable rights.  Rights are innate just by the very fact that we exist but can human rights be said to be totally absolute?

 The term 'Gay' as I understand it means 'lively', 'happy' or 'same sex relations' and it was popularly used to describe one's state of being but today 'Gay' is used to mostly describe people involved in same sex relations . While writing on this matter, I  find my self at a crossroads of whether to approach the issue from an academic point of view or a more casual approach and finally decided to do it with a mixture of both approaches. My intention is to bring this topic to you with the utmost care as it a matter that should be handled delicately. I am not here to give you facts and figures but just to share my thoughts. I did not delve into any religious or moral argument that 'gayism' is not normal or right because we need to see it from another angle for better understanding. Don't get me wrong, I am a child of God and I believe in what the bible says. The bible condemns the practice of 'gayism'. We can find evidence of this in Romans 1:24-28, Deuteronomy 23:17, Leviticus 20:13 and Leviticus 18:22-25. It's just that people easily jump to the religious and moral angle(depending of if your view on morality aligns with what the bible is preaching). I am just trying to take the bull by the horn from another perspective.

There have been many reactions on the marriage bill was recently legalized in the United States of America(USA). In summary, some percentage of people are totally against the move by the United States government, some are in support of the move and while the others are indifferent. Many countries, a large percentage of them being African countries are totally against the move by the United States Supreme Court legalizing gay marriage in the US. Despite President Obama's efforts to encourage some African countries to make the move legalize 'Gayism' in their constitution (typical of a world power to assume that everybody should take its course be it right or wrong just because they have chosen to do so), a large portion of Africans against it because it is not part of our cultural heritage.

As Africans, we consider it a taboo for two people of the same sex to engage in sexual acts not to talk of marriage between both sexes. The very act itself in most African communities is punishable by banishment, death or even exile. This behavior is not acceptable by most African societies but we still cannot deny the fact that even in the olden days there were same sex relations. It was just not popular as it is today.

In monasteries, temples, convents, seminaries, same sex boarding schools, etc, 'gayism'  is a very common practice. Looking far back in history the great founder of stoicism Zeno of Citium (an ancient Greek philosopher) and Alexander the great (Mecedonian king) have been known for their great love for teenage boys and young men. 'Gayism' have a long standing history in man's existence but not part of man's original make up.

In light of the above premise, I am left with the conclusion that the very act of 'gayism' is not intrinsic in man as many people have argued but an act brought about by curiosity in  nature of man into things that are part of his make up as a social animal. The evolution of the psychological and social development of man, his awareness of his abilities and the thirst to push past known boundaries has led to man's willingness to explore his sexual abilities past what is known as the norm. For example, two little boys who start touching themselves in their private part would be curious to know the extent at which they can take the sensations they are feeling within themselves to.The question is, 'are some boundaries worth crossing?'   Has man reached the peak of his civilization so much that defying the natural order of things is the only option to spice up his existence?

Our social existence is based on the premise of our inalienable rights as human beings and the freedom to express ourselves. But can we say that human rights in themselves are absolute. This brings to mind a famous quote by a french philosopher, J.J Rousseau, 'man is born free but everywhere he finds himself in chains'. The adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights(UDHR, 1948) by the United Nations General Assembly in my opinion is an evidence that Human rights in themselves are not absolute. There is always a limitation to every concept. For instance, a murderer who has been condemned to death by the State. The question is what right does the state have to take a life even though the murderer took the a life himself. Does it justify the death penalty meted out by the state as punishment? An abolitionist argument would be that he has a right to life and thus the state has no right to take his life. If we were to follow up this argument, the murderer has a right to life despite the fact that he cut short the life of another but the state decided to sentence him to death(limitation of his right to life) because of its obligation to ensure order in the society.


To further buttress this point,  If we look back into Hobbsean and Locke theory of how the society or government that we have today was garnered, we would see that the decision of man to surrender his right to 'the supreme' or 'the government' is further proof to us that rights in themselves are not absolute. Man recognized the fact that absolute freedom would mean that society his existence would be in chaos thus his surrender to a government and the formation of an advanced society. The laws which govern society were derived from the law of nature. 

In Nature, there is order. There is a natural order of things that have been set  that is why, two male lions mating will not mate, two female flies can not mate and reproduce etc. There are two dominant species in nature i .e male and female. This alone negates the relationship between people of same sex, who are married and have a desire to groom a child of their own. If 'gayism' was a natural inclination in man, mans physical make up should have been so constituted that he would be able to reproduce whether he mates with a member of the opposite sex or not.  In gays, there is always, the male and the female, the husband or the wife (even though they would be married as wife and wife or husband and husband) in the relationship. This further negates 'gayism as act because, there is still that mental reminder that one person must assume the role of the opposite sex. If gayism was a natural act, nature would have manifested it in its elements and it would have been part of the natural laws. Hence, there would be no controversy surrounding 'gayism'.

In summary, the point is - that rights are not absolute. If they were there would not be a government and that the laws which govern the state is based on the law of nature. In nature, there is order and thus it follows that since the laws which govern the state were formulated based on the orderly law of nature, 'gayism' is a contradiction to nature itself and thus to claim that 'gayism' should be legalized world wide (by its advocates) is an argument that is null and void.

The way forward. 

We must treat the matter of 'gayism' as a bug whose antidote we should be looking for. The matter of 'gayism'  is more of a psychological issue more than a human rights issue. I still maintain that the right of every human being should upheld but to say that 'gayism' has a  right in any constitution holds no substance because we would be defying the laws of nature that govern our very existence.

We must especially be perceptive to the younger generation whom we are grooming because our legacy and actions are what they have to build a future on. If a child begins to develop negative or abnormal tendencies from childhood, as parents we try to nip the matter in the bud! This is how we can combat this virus called 'gayism'.

In Nigeria , the government should support and empower NGOs, religious organisation and even hospitals to render free counselling services to individuals who are confused about their sexuality. Individuals also need to be educated that just because someone prefers same sex relations does not make the person less human. They shouldn't be treated any less rather people should embrace them with love and point out the way to redemption.


'The future of tomorrow's generation is being molded presently. Stand up for what is right to ensure a better tomorrow'  E.W

GIRLS NIGHT OUT: ALERO'S REVENGE

They say the ultimate goal of a woman should not be marriage but to be at the peak of her self development and at the highest level of her relationship with her maker. It used to be what Alero belived in but the memory of her previous relationship still left a bad tatse in her mouth. She began to wonder if she would ever find someone to call her own.

She looked into the mirror and her beautiful reflection stared back at her and she wondered at that moment what use was her beautiful self was if she couldn't snag a man? Enough of this down mood she told herself, she was going to do something today to pull her out of this dull-drum. She picked up her phone and dialed her friend Tobi's number.

'Hello'

'Babes was sup'

'Are you at home?'

'Yeah. any better?'

'I wanna go out joor. am having one of those depressing days'

'Sorry love...am stuck on one movie here myself... what do you have in mind?'

'There was dis place in lekki I went to one time...lets hang out there...its by the waterside...'

'Ok lets. lemme call Sade to see if she is game. The more the merrier abi?'

'Yeske! the more the merrier. thanks love. I feel better already'

'What are friends for?'

'so ill pick you up seven O'clockish?'

'yeah...bye'

By Seven O'clock Alero was in front of Tobi's house, so she picked up her phone and dialed Tobi's number.

'Babes , I'm outside o!'

'OK' Soon they were all in Aleros Toyota Rav-4 on their way to lekki.

They arrived at the venue amidst laughter in Alero's car. As they approached the tables, Tobi and Sade were momentarily struck by how beautiful the place was.

'wow. babes how did you find this place?' Tobi asked

'One time, I came here on a date'

'oya spill, you did not tell me and Tobi about this date o!' asked Sade

'okay, when we reach our table I'll supply you the gist'

They paused in the middle of the sit out to scan for the best tables, when Alero pointed out one that was just by the railings close to the water.. The sit out deck was made of golden brown oak wood flooring with hints of Chinese inspired decoration here and there. They passed the open air kitchen with chefs busily stirring or frying up an aroma that added to the deliciously warm ambiance of the place.

'hummm...nice aroma...I'm sure it would cost a fortune to eat here...anyways am on a diet so I cant even eat nada..' Tobi commented as they approached their table.

'hahahaha! Tobi! just say you  are broke!' teased Sade

'ehnnn... must I open my mouth to talk?'

'yes now! don't worry we are here for you just in case you change your mind, madam dieter!'

 Immediately they settled, a waiter approached their desk to get their order

'welcome to sunset bay lounge. what can we get you ladies?' the waiter asked as he handed out the menu.

' No need for the menu. I'll just have a glass of chapman.' Alero replied giving him back his menu book.

'I'll have your strawberry delight...just hope it tastes nice' Tobi replied giving him back his menu too

'and I'll have a bloody Mary'

'Sade, you still never repent abi?' Tobi chided as the waiter disappeared to get their order

'what! its just a bloody Mary! don't just even start your preaching. we are here to have a nice time and I intend to do so!' Sade retorted

'okay yio! I rest my case! madam bloody Mary!' They all laughed just as the waiter arrived with their drinks.

' that was fast....' breathed Sade

They each took their drinks silently scanning their environment. just then, a young girl in her twenties accompanied with a man supposedly in his late forties settled down in two tables in front of them.

'Alero! guess who it is?'

'its that Terry..."

Alero froze as she heard his name. At that moment she experienced a mixture of love hate and rage all at the same time. Seeing Alero's reaction, Tobi immediately held her hand.

'babes, cool down. He is sitting behind you...just two tables away. don't look back until we figure out how to deal with this.'

Not being able to help herself, Alero turned round slightly to see him.

'imagine! he is with another babe!'

'abegi! let me give you and the game plan. when they have ordered and they already eating or doing lovey dovey as I can see that they are already into romance mode..'

They all looked at Terry's table at the same time and immediately caught him giving his pretty date a kiss.

'then you will now go and give him a piece of your mind. If he talk nonsense baff him with he margarita we dey him front'

'hahahaha....Sade ooo. you will not kill me, I'm sure it will not get to that but I like the part where I go over and give him a piece of my mind.'

'babes, I don even scan him hand. No ring. Am sure 'pretty miss' over there with him doesn't know that  is married.chia! men!'

'lets not put the blame on them totally Sade. Some times, you will have to admit that we get so carried away my all their talking and the little gifts they give to distract us. If I had paid close attention, asked questions when i should have and then worn iron pants, would I be crying for you people?'

'Alero, its okay...lets just finish our drinks, you go over and give the guy a piece of your mind and then we head out to watch a movie...' Tobi suggested seeing the hint of tears that appeared in Alero's eyes as she spoke.

'fine by me' Sade agreed

'ok'

'I am ready now.' Alero replied breathing in.

After taking a huge gulp of her chapman, Alero stood up to face the devil himself.She pulled herself up to her gorgeous five eight inches height, squared her shoulders, held her chest and head high as she carried her beautiful self over to Terry's table. Seeing Alero approach, Terry sat up straight in his chair and nearly spilled his drink on himself. She could see the surprise in his eyes as she eventually took the the empty seat beside him. His reaction all but pleased Alero.

'I can see you are surprised to see me...won't you give me a hug? didn't you miss me?'

'Alero,.. what a surprise...can we talk somewhere else please? he asked with a pleading look in his eyes
'no darling, I'd rather we talk here in the open' then turning to Terry's dumbfounded date, Alero introduced herself..

'Hi, my name is Alero, Terry's ex mistress. even though its not a title i like to carry, Its what I had been to him unknowingly all along. His wife called me from the United States of America warning me never to get in touch with her husband again. The sad thing was that he left me high and dry here in Nigeria with a promise of marriage after dating him for two years. What a shocker that was for me to find out that I had been wasting my time all along!

'Terry, what is going on here?'

"baby dont believe what ever she says...Alero lets go and have this discussion somewhere else please...' he starts to get up from his seat...

' no darling... we discuss everything right here! I don't owe that courtesy!' replied Alero

' please hold up you two! I'm confused here...Alero right?'

'yes I'm Alero'

'baby, what are you doing?'

'Honey, Terry, I'm trying to get to the bottom of the matter.' turning to Alero' by the way my name is Ejiro'

'Ejiro, pleased to meet you.'

' you know what, Alero I've had it with this your drama.' Terry replied slightly raising his voice.

'Bobo, you better calm down, see how everybody is looking at you like a psycho!'

' I wont have this! Ejiro lets go'

Pausing momentarily Ejiro looked up at Terry for ten seconds before she spoke ' No.' still looking at Terry as she spoke she picked her bag and turned to Alero. 'Babes can you give me a ride to the bus stop or better still lets go see a movie. do you have any other thing to say to him?'

'Correct babe! lets go. I just decided he is not worth me wasting any more of my saliva. My girls and I are over at that table and we were going to head out for a movie after I dealt with Terry here.'

They both left Terry bewildered. As they neared Alero's table, Sade and Tobi stood up both smiling from ear to ear

'I thought you were going to give the guy a piece of your mind not steal his date?' Tobi asked
laughing

'yeah...wasn't that the game plan? you this babe! you get your own kind of craze!' quipped Sade.

'Yes it was o! but one thing let to another. Welcome to the club, Ejiro. We will do the remaining introductions and gisting  in the car.

Just then, some tables around them started to clap.

'wow! it seems everyone has been watching the whole drama!' exclaimed Sade'

'hahahahaha. let's entertain them more...take a bow ladies in three, two, one...'

They took their bow and walked out giggling like a bunch of secondary school girls.

FIN

SUPERIOR CUSTOMER SERVICE DELIVERY.

Hi blog readers, Today's post is off what I usually write on the blog...I just decided to explore another angle to my writing. I hope you learn one or two things...Enjoy

SUPERIOR CUSTOMER SERVICE DELIVERY.

Delivering superior customer service is the back bone of many successful  organisations. It is for this reason that many organisations take their time to train their employees so that they would be able to deliver the tailored needs of the organisation perfectly. Often times, we have been in situations where we hear people complain of the quality of the service they received in a particular business establishment. This is because of the poor service they have received  from the organisations front line staff. Customers remember if they have received what I tag as a 'memorable service experience' and if they have also received poor service. The long term effect of this 'memorable service experience' is constant patronage, free word of mouth advertising and referrals.

Here are a few tips that would help to ensure that you deliver superior customer service:

1. Let this guide you 'Customers are King': It is very important to always make the customer feel important. A good example is by giving the customer your undivided attention. In the same way, even if you have to attend to more than one person, try no acknowledge the presence of other people and let them know that you would attend to them as soon as possible.

2.Multi-tasking: In order to deliver excellently, multitasking is one trait that must be part of the customer service person. Multi tasking helps you to attend to the customer on time and allows you to be more productive.

3. Let go of any unpleasant experiences: It is absolutely normal to encounter one or two hostile customers but what is most important is to make sure that you let go of any unpleasant experience you may have had with any customer. Holding on to it might hinder you from delivering the exceptional service that you should give.

4. Courtesy; Courtesy is a major ingredient that any front line customer service personnel or professional simply must have. 'thank yous' and simple complements would always put you and your company in the good books of any customer's mind.

5. Smile for Life: A greeting with a nice smile does wonders. it melts tension and helps the customer to feel relaxed around you. Complement your customers but don't sound too patronizing(people always sense this).

6. Maintain reasonable eye contact: Holding a persons eye contact for about 10 seconds before you blink or look away is important. Holding a customers gaze for too long might be seen as rude, flirting or even a 'stare down'.

7.Pay rapt attention: Listen to every customers complaint like you are just hearing it for the first time. While dealing with a customer's complaint, it is important that we pay attention to what they are saying like its the first time you are hearing of the complaint. Sometimes, all the customer wants more than the technical solution that you might provide him might be empathy or a simple apology. Effective listening would help you to gather information that the customer unconsciously emits during conversation and this would help you to deliver superior customer service.

8.Flexibility/ Product Knowledge: The key to enjoying a fantastic relationship with a customer is flexibility. It is essential that you understand what the customer wants so that you would be able to tailor the product your organization's products to the customers need.

9.Hit the nail on the head: In as much as you are trying to create a good relationship with your customer, try not to deviate too far from the major issues that needs to be worked on while attending to your customer.

10.Integrity: A lot of people judge every organisation based on this key trait. Developing your customer's trust is very important. Customers want to be assured that you would do what you say you would do when you say you would do it.

11. Take note of feedback: Be open to receive feedback, criticisms and suggestions from your customers. The feedback you receive from your customers actually go a long way in improving the quality of service your deliver and it also helps to nip unfriendly developments in the bud.

12. Discuss the issues: A lot of times, we encounter customers that are just difficult to handle. They just want things to be done their way and nothing else. With their kind of attitude, they always get into an argument with the customer service representative. What we should do in this case is to always try to see things from their own perspective rather than get into an argument with them. Discuss the issues, don't be positional in your approach be more integrative and ease them out of their tense mode. Remember, to them, you are a big organisation compared to themselves so they would always be defensive. 

'you are in business today so that you can remain in business tomorrow to make profit for the continued development and growth of your business thus, delivering superior customer service is one the major keys to the successful continuity of a business.'    E.W